1. It is expensive and I can't even afford an office visit and a cleaning much less dental surgery.
2. I am soooooo lazy and I'd really rather not think about it. My tooth fell out about three weeks or a month ago and it hadn't hurt much since then so I've just tried to keep food out of the hole and forget about it. I just want to ignore the whole situation. I am so good at ignoring things. I was pretty sure this would work.
3. I don't like going to the dentist. I don't like to hold my mouth open for so long, it makes my jaw hurt. I don't like saliva pooling in there and I can't swallow or spit and the dentist has the spit sucker thing in the wrong place. I don't like the taste of the gritty toothpaste. I don't like it when they scrape my teeth or poke at my gums. I don't like how the dentist asks me questions while he is working on my mouth. The least he could do is phrase them so they only need a yes or no answer. I don't like the GIANT needle they use to numb you. I don't like how dry and crackly my lips are when it's all over. I don't like that all I have to show for it at the end is a toothbrush. I may be 27, but I'd still like a sticker. Or better yet, some chapstick for my dry crackly lips that were not dry or crackly before I saw you, Dentist person.
My main concern right now is just the money thing. Who has an extra $2000 laying around for dental surgery? I know that I will need a filling, or a crown, or root canal, or a fake tooth. Whatever it is I need it will be expensive and there is no way around that.
I have already contacted a few talk shows that offer help for small things like this. I'm not sure if they will help me, but I really hope someone does! It would really make the whole situation a little more fun and exciting if I got to be on TV! The chances of that happening are very slim. So slim you can't even see that sliver of the pie chart with the naked eye (the pie chart which hasn't been created but gives you a visual of my chances- OK, fine. I'll draw a pie chart). I am hoping to make a video to also submit to the shows. Maybe that would help convince them a little?
Whatever the case, I think the tooth fairy should come and give me a little something-something for my tooth chunk. I hear from kids these days that she has been pretty generous. I remember getting $1 from the Tooth Fairy, but I've met some kids who lost their tooth in recent years and made up to a hundred bucks! So not fair, but that's inflation for you, I guess.
OK so now it is time for your opinion. Should I...
A. Make a video for the talk shows and cross my fingers they will help
B. Stand on a corner with a sign saying "Help me get dental surgery" and a bucket
C. Have a lemonade stand to raise money
D. Keep ignoring it
E. Buy some chapstick
Please comment with your response.
Bellow are some photos I sent to the Ellen DeGeneres show to try and get her to help me out. I also sent in to a few others including one I'd never heard of. These photos were just for Ellen though.
Above: There is a post-it on my chin. I try to point out where the tooth chunk is missing. It's really difficult to see in this photo. This makes it look like it isn't as bad as it is. It's not so easy to take a picture of the back of your own mouth.
Below: When I took this photo my mouth hurt so much I didn't even want to open it. The note says "that's a tooth not a scribble" and refers to the little picture I tried to draw of a tooth.
Below: That pie chart you requested